Inspirations: Self Care

The Cold Silent Self

Describing the moon as cold and silent, resonates. Evaluating lack of spirit in those same terms, requires explanation. Kundalini Yoga has given the name, ‘Cold Depression’ to being cut off from spirit. It is a modern malaise where patience, energy, pleasure, and understanding are submerged.  It also expresses in masculine terms through over doing, pushing, anger, and frustration. This is a seeming epidemic where feelings, even identity, have sunk below the surface, barely operating at full capacity.  This “Silence of the Self” is the cold side of the moon where the light of the ego and identity cannot create the energy to shine or throw off heat. It is when we are forlorn, lost to ourselves, lost to our creative imagination. We often try to heat, and compensate for its emptiness with too many coffees, sugar-bombs, alcohol, over-eating, over-doing, over-spending, over-tweeting.  Loss of energy is nervous-making.  When we feel we don’t have enough juice for flight if frightened, we are even more scared and defensive.  We may unconsciously create chaos and crises to force adrenaline rushes, anything to distract from the no-man’s land of cold depression.  Finding a way back to that warm, vital, peaceful, balanced Self requires tracking.  Core energy moves from soul to mind, to body.  It is the spirit that decides how much ampage to use and when to use it.  The spirit pulses energy to the brain, then thoughts persuade feelings, and modify action.  When we re-generate a single blocked conduit, re-ignite one positive habit, our engine throttles up. The amazing force of Yoga is that it works on many-many levels, often at once.  It is manna for the inner landscape, freeing bodies from the inside out.  When/if you don’t have enough fire to stand the mat and do poses, then sit, breathe, chant, create hasta… Read more »

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Face Value

  If feeling unhappy in a pose, or unexpectedly hurt by someone’s random comment, or suddenly uneasy with a stranger or new situation,   it is smart not to take it at face value. Often it is something within the pose, the person, or comment that sparks old hidden fires of fear within. Like the mind, muscles hold memory. Often ancient, forgotten memories embedded in the muscular structure are triggered by seemingly random events.  Some people believe that they don’t have to be of this life time, but that a karmic triggering can take place when the body is ready. And Yoga is constantly getting us ready.  It is one reason to be aware, and listening to the Practice.  What secrets are being revealed? What layer is being peeled away?  It is one of the main reasons Yoga is used as a healing agent for physical, psychological, and spiritual ills/ imbalances. Sometimes we meet people we whom we have an instant affinity, others give us chills.  We are foolish beyond belief when we do not pay attention to these signals of ‘high alert,’ for the body has greater access than the brain to the kind of intelligence that is particularly important at a profoundly personal level.  When we move past the face value of, “I’m tired, I’m uncomfortable, I don’t like this pose, that person bores me,” to question why, we begin a journey for our holy grail.  This grail is the cup holding essential soul-self, and as we effort to strip away outer layers, bypassing assumption, laziness, fear, those band aids placed in strategic positions long ago, we begin our true journey. Since we are more willing to start up new journeys in January, questions for this road might be:  1.  Is this person/pose/experience pushing me off balance? How? Why… Read more »

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Dynamic Balance

 December 6, 2010    First of three December Breaths on connection When the wind blows, will we scatter?  When the hammer descends, will we flatten? When someone says , “You’re more disappointing than the bottom half of a mermaid.”  Do we feel unworthy?  Or laugh, and know ourselves beautiful, tail et all? What holds a dynamic center?  Those made of ‘sterner stuff’ may find that these days the core has become too stern and rigid, fighting fear and risk.  Perhaps the demand is not to be made of the sterner stuff but to move loosely and connect unexpected dots from a flexible POV? We are all under some hammer, waiting for the next blow, scattering in fierce, chaotic winds, or swimming like mad for new shores.  If the last is the case, be pleased with a mermaid’s (merman’s) tail. Therein lies a secret.  Making a space to grow strange appendages to dive deep seas of emotional change can be what saves us. When the known home does not hold in the same comforting way. We cannot return again on the same mindless paths.  We cannot find balance in stale, accustomed habits, for the true center is dynamic, in a constant state of give and take.  Each new cycle requires we move from and toward home ground in willing to risk not knowing how. How to ask the heart for courage?  How to remain vulnerable when  fear-filled?  If anything sends us packing back to a rigid Self, it’s fear.  The terror of not being enough, or not being accepted are blueprints for rigor mortis. *Five possible ways and means to grow a courageous heart… and a georgous tail. Make space to breathe deeply, and consciously.  Feel powerful. When cold winds rage, stick your head out the door, (in a fabulous hat of course) but make sure your feet are glued to a warm… Read more »

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A Practice Is A Practice Is A…

As I wrote in last week’s Breath, a Practice is indeed a… BUT its myriad forms are often surprising, and catch us unaware before we can stand and say, or do, correct action. I’m writing here more of mental and emotional Practices.  ALL are difficult to show up for time and again. Seeing, then understanding where we missed being present is often the job du jour.  The big caveat is, ‘don’t get lost in the form.’  We must see the true energy of an event that sets us off, and spins the emotional wheels that require our Practice.  We must recognize the old dance, and with whom we are partnering. What childhood wound is in our face again?  What form did it just take?  How did we abandon Self this time? When we see a physical expression, such as shaking our fist, screaming at someone, it’s easier to follow it back to see and follow it in, if we choose. The big reactions are easier to recognize, given the clenched fist or jaw. It’s the smaller ones that are more powerful because they are insidious.  We let them slide by and say, “It’s OK.”  “I don’t mind.”  I’m fine.” Our Practice is to stand up for Self and say, “No.  I do mind,”  even say, “I love you, but it’s not OK to treat me that way.” Whatever the territory, the Practice is to seize the moment, if not the day.  Do not let it pass by, even if there’s no one to speak with, speak to Self.  Honor the hurt, be aware of the old wound, and do something with it so that it does not happen again, at least not in that particular way, with that person.  I guarantee that when we do not Practice self-care, the Universe finds… Read more »

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Gift Giving

Because many of us feel poorer than before, less able to cope or keep up, it is important to ritualize the following gifts, imbuing them with attention and power. Because we feel we do not deserve grandeur and gallant greatness, we must promise to sit and accept, perhaps weep at all we wrap and un-wrap. Because we feel we have no time, we will stop and carefully attend the following: 1. Buy, or find a long shimmery box and in it place silence. Perhaps you open it upside down to pour it over your head. In that silence you listen to your own voice. 2. Find a small jewel of a box, or make one. Let it hold your acceptance of exactly who you are. There is no room for anything other than the true heart of you. 3. A ‘tower of power’ are five, size-graded boxes, stacked one upon the other, tied at the top with multi-hued silk ribbons. Each of these boxes holds one of your gifts. Take them out one by one, marveling at their incandescence, their generosity, their unique contribution. Surprise yourself with honor. 4. The last box is in a size of your own choosing. Wrapped within, lies a mirror, nestled under layers of colored tissue. As you pull back the layers, you feel a growing sense of pleasure to see yourself so beautiful, so serene, and joyeux. Face the one you love. Embrace the gifts you give yourself. They may not be the ones you thought you deserved, they may not be the ones you wished for, but they carry you toward your Self. They are coin of the soul and as such deserve embracing, as well as the ritual of wrapping. Each shock of pleasure at their unveiling is reward enough. Asana: Do… Read more »

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Brain Spanking*

It’s funny the odd confluences that oscillate and dislocate usual thought and discourse. Despite being unconscious of planetary knowledge, our speech and thoughts often reflect powerful planetary configurations. We are energy fields reacting to energy emissions after all. Thanks to a Saturn/Pluto contact we are ‘brain spanking,’ while running from ‘Yoga police.’ These neurological tracks reveal a propensity for transgression, and punishment, very Saturn/Pluto. These two zodiac masters can bring up the victim/bully polarity. We bully ourselves when we take time out to be ‘lazy.’ Our judgment is worse. Note judgment inherent in ‘lazy,’ opposed to saying ‘rest.’ There is lots of ‘brain spanking’ going on when we are not checking off ‘the list.’ How did that happen? The Yoga-police come out in force if we become too irreverent. When did towing the Saturn line become the only line in town? When we only show up for duty, bowing to the demanding father within, someone bigger comes along to shake that boney, and it is boney, structure. There is little sweet meat to the strictures of do-do-do. Pluto, being far more powerful in its transformative nature than Saturn says, if your beingness is lopsided, and your inner fires tamped and tamed into nothing but respectability, then I can take you down and put it all into perspective. How about getting so ill you might die; will you change then? Will your work day be 40 hours, not 70? What will it take to create balance out of this relentless intensity? In the loss of sweet hours of doing nothing, the engine of creative juices withers. Without that ‘wasted time’ we cannot be, we cannot create, we can only do. And mostly we do doo-doo. It’s crap. (That is written with a loud English accent.) If we are not to become… Read more »

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Master Teachers

I took a master class from Natasha Rizopoulos this past week and have been nudged toward small changes and deeper refinements. One thing she said continues to reverberate. “Bring intelligence to the dull parts of your body.” It reminds me of something the French poet Paul Valery once said, “The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.” Do you find these statements dissimilar? Are you sleepy? Many of us are asleep half the time. We move through Asanas, even life, in a daze only semi- aware of the endless refinement profound change requires. Pushing our inert spirits from the gross to the infinitesimal transforms dreams to reality, conquers difficult Asana, and difficult decisions. Learning from Natasha is a reality course in Virgo technique, for “Virgo seeks self through what they learn.”* As a teacher, she embodies what is best of this Mercury ruled energy. Her requests for re-discovery and reassessment between sensation and discomfort, between what the body imitates, and what it is actually doing, charge students to fully awaken, to bring not only intelligence, but care, to the dull, unreceptive areas in the body. One must be fully awake to make choices between disparagement and discrimination, between potency and assimilation. This is Mercury’s domain, for it rules the ideas behind words, the choice of words, and their execution. The higher initiative of Virgo’s diligence is ingenuity in service so that the harvest prosper. Each choice must be correct, if not perfect, to create vision through practical reality. We learn as much from how someone instructs as from the teachings themselves. We know the body responds to loving attention, not criticism. We learn that careful observation is a powerful tool. Becoming a student again, with a wonderful teacher, is the best reminder of how we… Read more »

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Still Dancing/More Rhythms

For those of you who read last week’s ‘Breath’ you know this is a continuation of that discussion of seasonal elements… another layer in our ability to discern energy. Summer Rhythm As in nature, summer energies are ones of fulfillment, rising heat/fire and maturing. Like the Astrologic Leo, Summer People, when coming from their strengths, are exciting, moving from the heart, from their radiance of creativity and joy. Like the Ayruvedic Pitta Dosha, when in balance, they embody a fiery radiance to make things happen, eliciting co-operating from right use of their charisma and unique charm. Who doesn’t love someone leading with the heart? They are magical magicians, whose believe in self helps the rest of us believe in ourselves against all odds. When out of balance, Summer bodies, like Pitta constitutions, can become frenzied with too much activity, exhausting themselves in over-commitment. They can be so connected to the bright/happy side of life that they are unable to see the dark, or deal with depression. They can also become chaos, or hysteria-junkies, living for the highs until burned out. Learning to discern the fine line between joyous wide-eyed optimism and reality, between commitment and over-drive, or creativity and chaos, is the primary work of Summer People and of this season. Solstice/Equinox Rhythm These bodies are similar to the Ayurvedic Vata Dosha in that they deal with the instability of transitions. In order to handle the sway and movement of constant change, they are earth energy. The polarity in each solstice and equinox provides these people with their primary task which is to hold a steady balance in order to assimilate multiple changes. In this they are similar to the air sign, Libra, in its desire to connect and support others, offering peaceful means of change. Like Libra, when stressed,… Read more »

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