Often when the ego is diminished, we feel an ‘insufficiency of gratitude,’ sometimes heard of as ‘the mean reds.’ We feel in those times that there is little call for thanks, or giving. We don’t have enough Self to be expansive, generous, or grateful, having forgetten it’s just the ego, not all of Self. The problem lies in it feeling like all. It is in fact only the ‘little Self’ with the over-sized voice. (heard as whiney & over rated)
“Why me?” “Why not me?” “How could they?” It should’a been me!” “ Me Me Me, ohhh ghrrrr, waaaghhhhh.”
Loud, voracious, demanding and hungry for attention, it is a raunchy-red-voice that if it is grateful at all, it’s only for one moment before hunger strikes again, needing more strokes, more awards, more acknowledgement.
What about a legitimate me? What about a timeless, open-hearted, Soul-Self that sits quietly in the dark behind ‘Big Red?’ Despite nay saying to the contrary, that dark-quiet Self is a complete compadre, a True self with whom we do, and we become extra-ordinary. It can be heroic, but most often it operates un-seen, and un-known, listening, nurturing, observing, saving.
It understands all too well our needy-greedy cries, smiling at the Me Me Me-ness. When we turn toward this other entity, this silent, healing, surrendering Self, and move into its well of peace, we are home. We can even be ‘home’ for crazy making holidays, rooted in power that does not rise to the bait of old hot spots, and wound-poking. This lovely, legitimate Self is never diminished by failure, gluttony, or pettiness. And when we remember the shining abundance of this legitimacy, sitting at the head of our table, let us indeed offer up Grace for ‘all things bright and beautiful.’
Asana: Choose the Asanas you give yourself to unconditionally, without judgment or fear, those lovely poses where you are most naturally your free, generous and beautiful self; your legitimate Self.