The Mother Moniker

When someone is our mother it is impossible to see her as a person. This is true of anyone with a title relating us to them, such as, boss, lover, or grandfather. When it is a convoluted, deeply-tied, and tiered relationship, there are powerful forces at work to keep us from seeing. Mainly, we know only that piece called ‘the relationship,’ not the person, and certainly not the whole.

I was reminded of this yesterday when a friend told me she had discovered a box of letters, written through the years to her mother, by people who had known her mother well. My friend turned to me and said, “I had no idea of this person they wrote to, wrote about, or related to. This was not the mother I knew.”

This statement comes from a thoughtful, intelligent, caring daughter who is writing a memoir about her relationship to her mother. If she stands shocked, how much understanding do the rest of us have, who haven’t begun to question, or see the woman who gave us life? None. None of us have none. Knowing the mother or father who held the power of life throughout childhood, is akin to asking, “Who is God?” They were gods, for better or ill, and anyone who holds that kind of power is constrained by rigid standards, impossible to see or understand.

Yes, we grow up….well, sometimes we grow up. We all grow older. But our vision of mother is one that is often arrested in development. How do we see the woman who suckled us at her breast, changed dirty diapers, and struggled with her life to save ours? To comprehend her, and that relationship, we must begin a deep inner journey of exploration and revelation. We must be willing to stand on the edge the ocean and jump in.

Beginning any journey the first question is not how to begin, rather, do I want to begin? Am I willing to see the whole person? Does she wish me that kind of sight? What will I learn about myself if I embark into these unknown, mysterious waters? Who is it I think I know? What keeps her as ‘mother,’ not woman?
Rarely do we begin this journey, but for those willing, “Happy Mother’s Day!” Bon Voyage and best wishes from the hearts of those standing on shore as witness.

Asana/Pose: Dwi Pada Viparita Dandasana . This looks like a graceful bridge or arc, as though the feet lowered out and away to the floor from Salamba Sirsasana/ headstand. Lie flat on back, placing palms under shoulders, fingers pointing to feet. Bring feet near hips, knees parallel. Exhale, straighten legs, and bear weight on the hands, neck and head. Place L hand behind head, forearm on floor. Slowly follow with R hand, interlocking fingers behind head as you do in headstand. Lift pelvis as high as possible, stretching legs from hips to feet, pressing heels into floor. Breathe deeply. When releasing, bring feet closer to head, bend knees, release fingers to raise head off the floor, and lower trunk. You can begin working on this pose by placing feet against a wall, instead of floor, and ask someone to hold your elbows in place.

Health Notes: This may not be a pose for your mother, but it is a mother of a pose, requiring great flexibility in the spine, and strength in the neck. It clearly expands chest and lungs, and like Sirsasana, and a good mother, it calms mind and emotions.

Ayurvedic Notes: Many Taureans tend to have more Kapha Dosha, so practicing poses that clear channels, open and eliminate toxins, while challenging them to burn fat, and stay flexible are good choices. Kaphas enjoy the more challenging poses, and their bodies can handle the effort required.

Astrology Notes: Venus ruled Taurus energy tends to be a calming, peaceful flow. But do not let that lull you into thinking they do not have a capacity for savage danger. Like a mother protecting her young, when driven into a corner, the Bull will always win, despite a placid, graceful demeanor.