If I Had Known

If I had known,
Oh sweetest heart of stalwart years,
That you would see so well
Calm forlorn seas within
Teach my drowning self to float–
Later learn to swim.

If I had known
Then my parched self would unfold
Skin melting into skin
And snake-like shed
All I had been, rising and
Risking its re-birth.

If I had known
When you said “enough” each night
“Well done, ‘twill keep”
To lost days
When Sorrow held my hand
That you would offer yours,
Palm wide, fingers spatulate and firm.

Then I’d have known
To bow and blow kisses
For every golden breath,
Every hour your quiet gifts
Of Grace and song.
Beckoned as the ‘Bower Bird’
Building his Lady’s twiggy castle.

Am I worthy of this altar
Dazzling and flowered?
Where I sit with my Best-Self,
Proclaim this life out loud
And wait to hear you say,
“When you crack, the light comes spilling in
Yes, the light comes spilling in.”