Inspirations: Archives

When someone is our mother it is impossible to see her as a person. This is true of anyone with a title relating us to them, such as, boss, lover, or grandfather. When it is a convoluted, deeply-tied, and tiered relationship, there are powerful forces at work to keep us from seeing. Mainly, we know only that piece called ‘the relationship,’ not the person, and certainly not the whole. I was reminded of this yesterday when a friend told me she had discovered a box of letters, written through the years to her mother, by people who had known her mother well. My friend turned to me and said, “I had no idea of this person they wrote to, wrote about, or related to. This was not the mother I knew.” This statement comes from a thoughtful, intelligent, caring daughter who is writing a memoir about her relationship to her mother. If she stands shocked, how much understanding do the rest of us have, who haven’t begun to question, or see the woman who gave us life? None. None of us have none. Knowing the mother or father who held the power of life throughout childhood, is akin to asking, “Who is God?” They were gods, for better or ill, and anyone who holds that kind of power is constrained by rigid standards, impossible to see or understand. Yes, we grow up….well, sometimes we grow up. We all grow older. But our vision of mother is one that is often arrested in development. How do we see the woman who suckled us at her breast, changed dirty diapers, and struggled with her life to save ours? To comprehend her, and that relationship, we must begin a deep inner journey of exploration and revelation. We must be willing to stand on… Read more »