Inspiration

I heard myself whining the other day and thought, “You wuse.” I then had judgment added to remorse. All of that weight when I could have had a V-8. I could have had a ‘WoW’ moment instead of a whine-one. I was complaining that someone had backed out on my expectations. I could have seen with different eyes and said, “WoW, how lucky am I they backed out. Clearly they were not the right person for me at this time. Saved by the Universe once again.” I was driving behind a wee, old man, going 15 miles an hour and I was chomping at the bit, railing against his driving. I could have gone into reverse and thought, “WoW, I’m so lucky I don’t have to drive with that much fear.” Or “WoW, he might be saving me from a speeding ticket …never mind an accident.” Then there are the larger WoW factors. Flying, for one, the telephone for another. We all grouse about the state of flight, but WoW, I’m sitting in a chair in the air, crossing the country in hours, not days, weeks, even months, which is what it used to take, and we often died covering those same miles. It often took weeks if not days for letters to cross the miles. Now the telephone transports us instantly, including those calls begging for money. Before whining about them, I’m taking a WoW moment of gratitude that I am not that person. And that I can pick up the small black/red/green plastic box and be instantly and intimately with a friend. Before you know, we will be fitted with ear-pods on birth to connect ‘telepathically. WoW! In the WoW of this moment I’m accepting a new job. It is to remain amazed and in awe, especially during……

If the kaleidoscopic palate of hungry colors consumes me, I cannot feed my core. If I allow the demonic din to cloud my sight, I lose my vision. If turning to reality denies my dreams, then I naysay the soul. If I am only my molecules and not my myth then I have no future. If I am only in reaction to the revolution and not the doors to it, then my past owns me. If I listen to the whispers, I may not have to run from the shouting. Following ‘the white rabbit’ down the hole into chaos and exaggeration brings many things, not the least of which is coming up for air to choose reality. But if this reality sucks the spirit from our bones, we’d best think again. Our divineness and our humanity are such a mad mix of every hue and sound that finding the right balance within each level, each spiraling cycle, consumes an inordinate amount of energy. Perhaps it has always been thus. But today’s demands feel urgent and life threatening if we cannot find center, grow from that essential self, and serve the world. How do we do that when much of the day feels like we are unwelcome visitor’s at the Queen’s tea party… “Off with their heads!” Indeed, “Off with their head’s!” For here the heart and gut need to lead, the head to follow. We cannot move forward, deeper into the chaos, if we are not choosing to forever change. And the hole we fell into when we followed the white rabbit is nothing less than diving down into Pluto’s territory of Hades, rabbit warren of decisions; hallowed home of choice, where we adjudicate our ‘being.’ Pluto, being Pluto, is about the depth of feeling, not depth of the intellect….…

Staring at the gates of spring while yet in February is like Oliver asking for more gruel. Remember the pitiful lines from the musical? “Please Sir, can I have some more?’ It ain’t gonna happen, and it is both foolish and brave to ask for what we do not have but long for, be it porridge, grass, or freedom. Important questions arise from silly meanderings of wishing for spring renewal, and wanting more porridge. How do we dance instead of sogg through these last, lock-down weeks of winter? How to move through months of sudden and extreme shifts without losing our core? How to be bold enough to stand up and ask for what the soul needs, despite what the world says we cannot be/have/do. These are difficult terms of battle. It is battle with the world, and more importantly it is within self. It is the unconscious sparring of ego with soul. The ego is horrified by the loss of work, lack of money, death of a known way of living….The soul, not so much. These two giants are often in unconscious conflict, especially when we wrestle through our nights. The soul says, “Bring it on!” The ego cries out, “No, no. I can’t do that.” And they pretzel-twist into endless configurations of love and hate. Observing and appreciating the ego’s earnest, longing love affair with the soul makes our interior colors deeper and richer. Conscious observation of these two in their Tango Danse offers space and time for balancing: fear with bravery, confinement with freedom, contempt with compassion. So, here we stand, staring at spring’s locked gates. Perhaps we are more conscious of our struggle, our underlying wish for days to be different? Now, in that small space between, we begin to breathe joy into the cold and……

I watched you break last week. He said, “See Ya.” You cried, “Call me.” You stand waiting, hope frozen On memory’s landscape. Mis-shapen heart of cracks and skews How the light comes streaming through. Today, this out of blue-day They said, “See you, Services no longer required.” I watched you crumble Eight years of head-long pride Broken. Backbone snapped. Mis-shapen heart of cracks and skews How the light comes streaming through. Mayhap, next week my turn arrives My best and brightest son will die “See Ya,” he says, Marching toward his happiness. Mis-shapen heart of cracks and skews How the light comes streaming through. Asana: Akarna Dhanurasana/ Bow & Arrow pose. This is a seated pose for Cupid and the long of hamstring. Extend the L leg in front, holding the big toe in L fingers, then grab the R big toe, or the foot with the R hand and pull it back toward the R ear, thereby creating the archer’s pull of the arrow in the bow. (If you are extremely flexible, straighten the lifted leg, do not let go of the big toe. Do both sides.) Health Notes: This pose creates flexibility in the hamstrings, strengthens abs, and helps you poop. Astrologic Notes: I think it interesting that Valentine’s Day falls in Aquarian territory, an energy born in the nervous/mental system, that is more impersonal, not particularly romantic, nor that interested in one to one relationships, except as they relate to the exchange of ideas, the good of the group. It is more about the love of friends, which in no small love. Ayurvedic Notes: In relation to the extra winter heat drying our skins, and the nervous system being impacted by the loss of moisture, be aware of how much caffeine you are consuming. Caffeine affects the……

As I’ve told you before, I’m a yearny kind of gal. When I moved more into Yogini-dom, I began having oh so silent contempt for these yearnings. It translated as, ‘your heart is not content with what is.’ ‘Your mind is not present to what is.’ The ego says, ‘what is’ is insufficient unto the day. All of this is very contrapuntal for Yoga growth. As usual, judgment blinds. There is magnificence that can back-light a good yearn, leading us onward and upward. I heard that magnificence today in Rumi’s words. He writes about a man happily longing for God. A passing cynic (cynic’s always pass at critical moments,) asked if he had ever received any response from God. The man replied, “No.” Shortly after this the man let go his longing and quit praying. One day he dreamed he saw the guide of souls (These too, always pass at critical moments,) who asked him why he had stopped longing. The man said, “Because I’ve never heard anything back.” Khidr, the soul-guide responded, “This longing you express is the return message. The grief you cry out from draws you toward union. Your pure sadness that wants help is the secret cup. Listen to the moan of a dog for its master. That whining is the connection. There are love-dogs no one knows the names of. Give your life to be one of them.” And I add, learn to howl your yearning. Feel the force of your heart for the heart’s true desire, be it God or Dog. (One is simply the other spelled backward.) Allow that yearning to lead onward, and expand the joy, and yes, the grief, for indeed our dark nights draw us into powerful union with soul-self, with Dogs and Gods and one another. Asana: Ardho Mukha……

In the depth of darkness, what brings lightness? In days of fear, how to drink in courage? In hours of regret, what offers solace, even redemption? Oppositions require partnering. In these days of great imbalance, we must seek, and learn to partner differently so that the extremes do not win. It is a time to face off and see our partner/opponent as parts of self, with as much clarity and objectivity as possible in order to work, and come to fruitful agreements with them. It is the same with any person-partnering as well as idea/feeling collaborations. To build companionship we are required to come from loving intention, knowledge, trust, and acceptance. A ‘partner’ is simply one who takes part with another. The word is from partiner, (influenced by part;) borrowed from OF parcener, from parcon, portion. We live on a planet of polarities, we are born of masculine and feminine ‘portions.’ We must husband a large number of portions and polarities at every moment in order to survive and thrive. But what and who are these ‘portions’ we dance with, how do we come to understand our romance with them? Romance meaning idealization, a clash with reality. ( I do love that the word ‘romance’ came from ‘something written in a vulgar tongue,’ meaning not Latin.) Conscious partnering of our allies and our enemies allows for wholeness. We can no longer remain bits pieces/ portions of one, or the other. We cannot be vulgar, or romantic, rather we move forward clear-eyed and realistic, for wholeness is the demand of an adult, not youth. Wholeness is the wish of the ill to be well. Wholeness is what earth seeks as she battles back from the pieces we have torn from her. The more difficult, read more unbalanced we are in certain……